A Wedding Gift for the Groom He Will Still Have at Fifty

A wedding gift for the groom has a strange job. He is about to receive several hundred gifts addressed to both of you, chosen off a registry, and none of them are his. This one is. It gets opened in a hotel room at nine in the morning with a photographer in the corner, or handed across the table at the rehearsal dinner, and it has to hold up to that.

What people usually buy is a watch, cufflinks, a flask with his initials, a leather dopp kit. These are fine objects and he will use two of them. They are also the gifts a groomsman could have bought, and he knows it. The scale is off.

The object that fits the day is the one he would never buy himself: hand-forged, heavier than it needs to be, with both your names and the date cut into the steel. Blades have marked oaths and households for about as long as there have been either. This one hangs on a wall for forty years and gets explained to every guest who asks, which is the whole point.

Why the blade and not the other options

The watch is a good gift with a resale value and a service interval, and in ten years he will own a better one. The cufflinks live in a drawer between weddings. The flask says the wedding party is about to start and nothing else. The framed vows are paper, and paper does not get hung over the fireplace of a house you have not bought yet. None of these are wrong. They are the right gifts for a groomsman to give. From the bride, or from her parents, the gift should be larger than the day and stranger than the registry, and it should carry the date so nobody has to ask what it is for.

Names, the date, and how far ahead to order

Engraving and etching are done in our own Illinois workshop. For a groom gift from the bride the usual inscription is both names and the wedding date on the flat of the blade. The second most common is one line from the vows, which reads better than you would expect at thirty years' distance. A crest, a logo or a line of scanned handwriting can also go on, and if you would rather leave the steel clean, the sheath or scabbard can be etched instead.

Timing is the only thing that goes wrong with this gift. A fully custom sword takes four to eight weeks, sometimes longer, so the day the date is set is the day to order one. Inside eight weeks, buy from stock and have it engraved: the stock swords are the same hand-forged, full tang blades. If the wedding is Saturday and today is Tuesday, buy the folding knife, engrave the bolster, and order the sword for the first anniversary.

What to buy

The display piece, opened the morning of the wedding

Start here. This is the gift for the groom that gets photographed and goes on the wall of the first house. Every blade below is full tang and hand-forged.

• Longsword Bundle, Damascus steel longsword with maintenance kit, sharpener and sword stand, $249.99. A 37" longsword folded to 352 layers, with a leather sheath and the stand in the same box, so it goes from wrapping paper to mantel the same afternoon. The kit keeps it looking like this at fifty.
• Gladius Sword, High Carbon Damascus Steel, 28", $199.99. The Roman short sword: a broad, straight blade with a wide flat that takes two names and a date without crowding. Twenty-eight inches fits a bookshelf.
• Cavalry Sabre Sword, 38", 1095 Steel, $199.99. The traditional presentation sword, and the one that cuts the cake if the two of you are that kind of couple. The long, gently curved flat of a sabre carries a line from the vows better than any other shape here.
• Norman Longsword, Knightly Sword, High Carbon Damascus Steel, 38", $199.99. The cruciform sword from the century when a marriage was a treaty. Plain guard, straight Damascus blade, nothing to compete with the engraving.

Built for the two of you

If the date is more than eight weeks out, the better answer is a sword that did not exist before you specified it.

• Customize Your Sword, Build Your Own Sword, from $199.99. Blade style, steel, length, guard, grip, pommel, scabbard and inscription, chosen by you. The right answer when you have the calendar for it.
• Build Your Own Ceremonial Sword, Hand-Forged Sword, from $199.99. The same builder aimed at presentation rather than period accuracy: polished fittings, a matching scabbard, room on the blade for both names and the date.
• Customize Your Knife, Build Your Own Knife, from $149.99. The fixed blade version of the same idea, for the groom who would rather carry it into the woods than hang it. Names on the blade, date on the sheath.

The smaller gift, for the pocket or the belt

For a wedding morning gift that has to fit in a suit jacket, or for parents who want to give something alongside the larger piece.

• Gentleman's Lockback Folding Knife, 7", 1095 Steel, $199.99. A clip point lockback with wood scales and metal bolsters, opened with a nail nick the way his grandfather's was. The bolster takes initials and the date, and he carries it every day after.
• Folding Pocket Knife, 8", High Carbon Damascus Steel, Bone Handle, $89.99. The lower price point, and a 352-layer blade in a bone handle looks like it cost more. The right scale if the sword is from the bride and this one is from her parents.
• Bowie Knife, Handmade 1095 Steel, 17", $149.99. Full tang, leather sheath, and enough flat on a seventeen-inch bowie to fit both names at a readable size. For the groom who hunts or camps and wants a knife that does something.

For the first kitchen

A gift for both of you disguised as a gift for him. Damascus kitchen knives get used every night, which is more than a sabre can say.

• Kitchen Knife Bundle, Chef's Knife, Butcher's Knife, Utility Knife, $299.99. Three 352-layer Damascus knives with micarta handles, plus a sharpening stone, a cleaning kit and a stand: the whole first kitchen in one box. The chef's knife takes the engraving.
• Chef's Knife, High Carbon Damascus Steel, $99.99. A 14" chef's knife with a 9" blade and a leather sheath. One good knife beats a block of twelve mediocre ones.
• Chef's Knife, Micarta Handle, High Carbon Damascus Steel, $79.99. The same Damascus blade in a micarta grip, which shrugs off water and years. Put the date on it and it becomes the knife they reach for on every anniversary.

Give it somewhere to live

A sword given without a stand ends up under a bed. The Wall Mount Sword Stand, Black, $49.99, puts it on the wall of the first apartment and comes down with two screws when they move. The Blade Stand, $29.99, holds a single sword on a desk or a shelf for the couple who rent and cannot drill. For a folding or kitchen knife, the Knife Gift Box, $29.99, is black leather and is the thing he actually opens, which is worth more than the price suggests. If you are already thinking a year ahead, the same stand holds whatever comes out of our anniversary gifts for him guide.

When to buy something else

• The wedding is under two weeks away and you want it custom. Custom builds take four to eight weeks. Buy from stock and engrave it, or give the knife now and order the sword for the anniversary.
• He has genuinely no interest in objects. Some men would rather have the trip. No engraving fixes that, and you know which one you are marrying.
• You are the best man, not the bride. A sword from the groomsmen reads as a bit. Give the folding knife and leave the display piece for her to give.
• The two of you are moving abroad or into a studio this year. A 38" sword needs a wall. Buy the chef's knife or the lockback and let the display piece wait for the house.
• He is in the service and needs a dress sword for the uniform. These are hand-forged ceremonial and presentation blades, not service-pattern dress swords built to a branch specification.

Blade laws vary by state and city, so check yours before you order. Most blades ship sharpened. Nothing here travels in carry-on, so for a destination wedding, ship it to the home address and give it at the rehearsal dinner before you fly, or the week you are back.

Frequently asked questions

What is a good wedding gift for the groom from the bride?
Something he would not buy himself, at a scale larger than the day, with the date on it. A hand-forged sword with both names engraved starts at $199.99 and hangs on the wall for decades. If the apartment is smaller, an engraved Gentleman's Lockback at $199.99 or a Damascus chef's knife at $99.99 does the same job in less space.

When is a groom gift from the bride given?
The morning of the wedding, while you are getting ready in separate rooms, is the traditional moment and the one the photographer wants. The rehearsal dinner is the other, and the better choice for a sword because it gives him a night to look at it.

Can you engrave both our names and the wedding date?
Yes. Engraving and etching are done in our own Illinois workshop: names, the date, a line from the vows, a crest or a logo on the blade. Sheaths and scabbards can be etched instead if you want the steel left clean.

How far ahead do I need to order a wedding day gift for my husband?
A fully custom sword takes four to eight weeks, sometimes longer, so order when the date is set. Inside eight weeks, buy from stock and have it engraved. Inside a week, the folding knife and the gift box are the safe order.

What do the bride's parents give the groom?
Parents usually give the larger piece, and the Longsword Bundle at $249.99 is the one that arrives with its own stand. The bride gives the knife he carries. Both get the same date, which reads well when they hang side by side.

Is a sword too much for a wedding morning gift for the groom?
It is exactly enough, which is the point. The morning of a wedding is the one day the gift is allowed to be too big, and the sabre or the gladius is $199.99, which is less than the watch you were considering.

What about groom gift ideas we both get to use?
The Kitchen Knife Bundle at $299.99 is three Damascus knives, a stone, a cleaning kit and a stand, and it gets used every night of the marriage. If he cooks, the single chef's knife at $99.99 with the date on the blade is the answer, and it also appears in our gifts for boyfriend guide for the years before this one.